[5] the town was sticky and cruel

[5] town was sticky and merciless


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Ten years ago I dreamed a dream about two folks. I take into account that each experience within the dream: the dust within the carpet they sat on, maintaining one every other; the staticky, sticky really feel and smell in the air from the sick one's breath, the blueness of open irises; the silence filling their ears. The humidity. the weight of the air on their skin, close like water. every coloration within the dream used to be tinged with unhappiness, with the information of looming loss. The healthy one cried. The ill one was once not just sick. He was once loss of life.

once I awoke I wrote their story out without end, for years, in variations and settings and time frames, until I might nearly touch each of them once I reached my hands out in my sleep, except they had been extra like flesh than figments of my mind. I wrote them except I knew what they'd see in inkblots, what they offered at the grocery retailer, how they treated working late, which types of liquor each liked. The absoluteness of loneliness I'd felt for eighteen years before I had the dream left me, as a result of after the dream, they have been at all times with me.

however the sick one, specifically, has leapt from between the 2-dimensional lines of his life spelled out in ink on paper and phrases on a reveal and turn out to be something totally different. In many ways, now we have grow to be one particular person. which can seem ordinary, as a result of from outdoor, I've all the time been one individual. but within me, there's me, and there may be this different human who confirmed up ten years ago, who climbed out of my subconscious and acquired so entangled and intertwined in my psyche that I've lost complete character traits and blocks of memory to him—and won his. now and again i attempt to remind myself that memories i believed were mine are factors of an imagined persona, not more than words on paper. however even in my most rational moments i will be able to't make myself believe he isn't real. I overlook which issues I've lived, which issues this dreamed-up, residing-inside of-me different soul has lived.

We share the same body, however I get to control it.

largely.

There are days when he takes over. And nights.

weight loss
2006-07-22 20:22:08

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